Retro Review: Postal 2 (PC) NSFW-18+

Welcome to Paradise, Arizona: the most misleading city name in existence.

Step into the shoes of "the Postal Dude," a shit-talking, crack-smoking, unhinged caricature of Duke Nukem.

Beginning Monday, the Postal Dude must survive the week and complete a list of tasks each day to finish the level.

These chores vary in absurdity from 'pissing on Dad' to meeting (and possibly killing) Gary Coleman. (Seriously, it's Gary fucking Coleman)

The game's appeal is in it's ridiculous, over-the-top presentation and bevy of outrageous gameplay options.

Postal 2 is a black comedy developed by Running With Scissors, a company based out of Arizona.

The game was initially banned in New Zealand, Australia, Malaysia, Germany and Sweden, but was eventually made available for purchase worldwide through GOG.com, and later, Steam.

Postal 2 is a shitshow, in the best possible way.

Going to the local grocery to buy some milk? Well, that may be a problem considering the store is run by suicide-vest-wearing terrorists. Seriously.

The majority of the humor stems from trying to do mundane chores while avoiding the insane populace.

While it is technically possible to beat the game without killing anyone, (screw that, I'm here to have a good time) it is intentionally made difficult to do so. Every new faction you encounter (terrorists, angry moms groups, anti-gaming protesters) wants your blood.

The catch 22 is the more people you kill, the more aggravated the AI becomes, and the more police/SWAT will be on the streets to stop you.

You can also be arrested. Not that I recommend it, but it's cool that you have the option to surrender your weapon and be jailed. (You may also run into interesting characters in jail, depending on how far you are into the game)

Make no mistake, Postal 2 is intentionally offensive. You can show your cock to NPCs and can urinate on them, (and yourself) animals can be shot, set on fire, and worse.

Running With Scissors clearly has no love for cats, as felines can be used as silencers for your shotgun and assault rifles.

The barrel of the weapon is shoved up the cat's ass, and the player can then fire off nine shots (cats have nine lives, we get it) before the cat explodes into bloody bits.

There are a ton of weapons in the game, but the coolest may be the scythe.

It carves through NPCs like butter, and the blood effects are decent.

Dogs can be given treats to make them docile toward the Postal Dude, and once you've befriended them, they'll attack anyone that threatens the Dude. They will also play fetch with your inventory items and even severed heads.

Postal 2 is basically a tongue-in-cheek open-world killbox, and while it's nearly devoid of a real story, that's half the appeal-you make your own story based upon how you choose to accomplish each's days objectives.

You can eat a grenade! If at any time you decide to end it all, you can pull the pin on a grenade and shove it in your mouth, at which point the Dude resigns himself to his fate.

Postal 2 Steam trailer.

13 years after it's release, the devs put new content into the existing game as a thank you to the people who continue to purchase and play Postal 2.

(See clip below)

The only real gripes I have are load screens between sections of the map, limited variety in NPC's appearance, and some lackluster interior design on the factory level.

If you enjoy gross-out humor and generally 'offensive' content, check out Postal 2. (Click here) At $12.99 (includes both the original game and the add-on, Paradise Lost) it's a good time to check out an old game on the cheap.

Rating:

7.5/10

Review to be continued in Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend and Paradise Lost-coming soon.