Retro Review: GTA IV (Emulated on Xbox One)

Fresh off the boat in Liberty City.

Grand Theft Auto IV begins with Nikolai Bellic arriving via a merchant ship from Eastern Europe. Upon arrival in Liberty City, USA, he is greeted by his cousin Roman- a rotund, jovial little man whose ambitions don't quite match his wits or means.

Roman, (left) and Niko. (Right)

From the moment that the game starts, it is immediately apparent that the atmosphere hearkens back to the foggy bleakness that was GTA III. The city lights are shrouded in mist, rain pelts the pavement and passing cars, and most important-Liberty City feels gritty and lived-in.

Liberty City's version of Time's Square.

Niko quickly learns that Roman is full of shit. His 'mansion' is a roach-infested slum of an apartment in Broker, (GTA IV's equivalent of Brooklyn) the numerous sluts he claims to be sleeping with boil down to one wholesome woman that Roman actually intends to marry, all while under the thumb of a local Russian gangster due to his gambling addiction.

Roman tries to legitimize his tall tales to Niko at the apartment.

In an attempt to work off some of Roman's debt, Niko begins doing jobs for Vladamir Glebov, the Serbian asshole Roman owes money to.

(One the left) Vlad makes snide comments to Niko about his cousin. (Right)

After a few weeks, Roman discovers that his sort-of-girlfriend, Mallorie is sleeping with Vlad. He is too much of a pussy to do anything but cry, but Niko is having none of it.

Niko doesn't have time to pick locks.

With Roman in tow, he drives to Vlad's bar and throws down the gauntlet. After killing Vlad's bodyguards, Niko chases him to the waterfront, where Vlad begs for his life and tells Niko that he and Roman will be hunted if they don't let him go. Niko doesn't give a fuck, and puts one in Vlad's tiny brain at point-blank range.

"You were the stupid one, Vladdy-boy."

This causes Roman to freak out. He tells Niko that Vlad had very powerful friends, and now those friends will kill them both. Niko is nonplussed, telling Roman that things will be fine. Things are not fine. Roman hides in a dumpster, and Niko is knocked unconscious when he tries to talk him out.

When he comes to, both he and Roman are tied to chairs in a basement. After Niko is tortured with a hacksaw, the owner of the home, Mikhail Faustin bursts in and kills the henchman that was torturing Niko, stating that his wife is trying to watch TV. Faustin tells Niko he is lucky Vlad was an idiot, and advises that he is going to be working for him now.

The vehicle physics were ahead of their time.

I'm not going to tell the whole story. I just wanted to set the stage so that you, the reader-can see how this is a great jumping-off point for one of the best mob tales I've experienced. You will meet a host of interesting characters, from a Rastafarian drug dealer to a serial killer.

Taking out the trash.

Something as ordinary as taking a drive before dawn through Broker or Dukes is enjoyable simply because of the sheer amount of detail R* instilled in the title. Street lights shine dimly through the fog, the car reacts realistically, tilting from one side to the other as I take a corner just a bit too fast. Prostitutes gesture towards my vehicle as I pass, catcalling when I ignore them. The familiar sounds of traffic blend with occasional pedestrian chatter, often becoming reactionary as a driver gets too close or as Police engage in a shootout.

Plenty to explore.

The humor in GTA IV is also some of the best in the series, with a total of 3 radio channels devoted solely to talk radio- there are amusing commercials on all of them. You will hear tons of hilarious dialogue throughout the game. Sometimes on TV/radio, other times from a panicked pedestrian you nearly hit with your car. ("CHEESY VAGINAS!" -oddest comment yelled at me so far)

Ricky Gervais at the Split Sides comedy club.

There are comedy and cabaret clubs, the former offering a chance to watch either Ricky Gervais or Katt Williams perform. Gervais in particular is funny as fuck.

Katt Williams at the Split Sides comedy club.

Liberty City is sprawling, with 3 large islands to explore and a bunch of random encounters to go along with the standard story mission setups. These side missions showcase how much different Niko is compared to Carl Johnson or Michael Townley. For example, I randomly encountered a man named Jeff who was furious about his wife cheating on him.

An unstable character, to say the least.

He asked me to take pictures of her while she was on a date with another man. Once I arrived, it became obvious that she wasn't cheating.

She talked about her husband the whole time.

I sent Jeff a picture clearly showing them sitting a reasonable distance from one another (as she ironically complained about how paranoid her husband was, and for no reason), but Jeff still freaked out and accused her of being a whore.

A disturbing request.

Quite some time later, I had forgotten all about Jeff-until he called me around 2AM begging for help. When I arrived at the parking garage he had arranged for our rendezvous, he revealed that he had stabbed his wife 50+ times and needed me to dispose of the body. This is where Michael or CJ would likely have called it quits and told him to fuck off. Instead, Niko flatly tells him he'll do it for five grand.

What shocked me most about this mission (besides the brutality of the murder) was when I exited the cutscene and discovered that Jeff had stuffed her lifeless body into the trunk of a hatchback-meaning that she was extremely visible to passersby.

Yeah...that's not obvious or anything.

As soon as I exited the parking garage, a police cruiser passed me. He immediately flipped on his lights and sirens and gave chase. I stomped the gas, winding through several back alleys before losing my pursuer. Once in the clear, I just had to dump the car into the bay. I jumped out just before the car left the dock and watched as it landed in the ocean.

There is another encounter with Jeff, but I'll let you experience that for yourself.

I wolf-whistled as you were crossing the road, you got knocked down by a truck

Check out the websites advertised in your email/links you come across online. Craplist (Craigslist parody) is funny in particular. The personals had me rolling.

I have always loved overcast/stormy weather, so maybe it's just me that smiles when a lightning strike flashes in the distance during my cab ride. When the thunder rumbles my controller a second later, it brings a sense of satisfaction I don't think I ever got from a storm in GTA V.

A heavy storm in Liberty City.

There are fully-functional trains, cab services, boats, helicopters, airplanes, and more.

Plenty of transportation options.

The missions feel more realistic than most of the content in GTA V. Instead of pulling a tennis coach's home off a cliffside on a whim, you'll find yourself doing things like tailing gangsters to a nearby train station and then gunning them down before they can escape, or kidnapping a local mafioso's daughter, shooting up an amateur porno business, or performing hits as an assassin-for-hire.

Gracie Ancellotti-one crazy bitch.

You can also drive Roman's taxi for some extra cash, or help the cops bring down criminals in optional vigilante missions.

When Microsoft/R* made GTA IV backwards compatible, they didn't feel it necessary to appropriate the resources needed to re-acquire the license rights to the soundtrack. Instead of simply not allowing the music to record, they locked out all audio recording for the game. This is a real shame, but it won't affect your gameplay, just recorded clip playback.

For a game from 2008, GTA IV is still graphically impressive. And thanks to the Xbox One's backwards compatibility update, GTA IV looks better than it ever did for console users, with double the pixel count in HD.

Multiplayer is still active as well.

At some point I will review the DLC for this game- The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony...I've played them both before, and will try to pick them up again soon-unfortunately both are still full price digitally.

With a ton of characters to interact with, some of the best missions designed in GTA history, a fantastic soundtrack and Mafia vibe that R* has seemingly left behind with the newest iteration, Grand Theft Auto IV is a must-play for fans of the single player genre.